Why? Friday, Jan 25 2013 

What if this is how it’s meant to be,                                                                                                       Will the monster inside me ever leave?                                                                                            What if I grow old and grey,                                                                                                       With no achievements to portray? 

How am I ever going to make them proud,                                                                                               When my feet are stuck on same ground?                                                                                          How am I going to cope with the fight,                                                                                                  when all motivation’s so far out of sight?

Who is going to remain stood by me,                                                                                                      When I keep persuading them i’m better off lonely?                                                                              Who is going to want to deal,                                                                                                             When I don’t understand what’s fake or real? 

Where am I ever going to go in the world,                                                                                           When my comfort zone is in bed up curled?                                                                                  Where is a place to make this right,                                                                                                         To block out all my darkness with delight?

When is this going to stop,                                                                                                           Because i’m an angry balloon about to pop!                                                                                     When’s the day i’ll wake up and say,                                                                                                         I think everything will be ok! 


Don’t give up on me. Friday, Jan 25 2013 

Don’t give up on me just yet,                                                                                                   I’m learning how to feel.                                                                                                       Don’t let go of what we have,                                                                                                                      I’m learning what is real.

Don’t look away from me,                                                                                                          I’m learning not to hide.                                                                                                                Don’t turn your back on me,                                                                                                             I’m learning to confide.                                          

Don’t laugh as i’m lost in life,                                                                                                            I’m learning how to cope.                                                                                                            Don’t think you aren’t the one I need,                                                                                                   I’m learning about hope.

Don’t let me sense your fear,                                                                                                           I’m learning to be strong.                                                                                                               Don’t let me see your pain,                                                                                                          I’m learning right from wrong.

Please don’t leave me all alone,                                                                                                                    I’m learning how to deal.                                                                                                      Don’t give up on me just yet,                                                                                                            I’m learning how to feel. ❤

Ok so, here’s PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) from my personal view, it’s an easier way of describing the way it makes someone feel, I want to make awareness of it and maybe one day people will take it as seriously as it should be, so here’s my poem : Thursday, Jan 24 2013 


Broken I will stand alone.♥

I feel i’ve been taken away,
I struggle to find a reason for each day,
I don’t know who I am inside,
My identity has found a place to hide.

I see a face that I don’t know,
And the more I look I feel the hatred grow,
I don’t like this person that I see,
Because I can’t seem to remember me.

It’s like i’m lost in some sort of maze,
I’m living in a blurry daze,
I don’t understand what’s took control,
I’m here but something’s got my soul.

I am an outsider looking down,
watching myself wreck everything around,
I can’t feel emotion, i’m numb inside,
It’s like all my feelings have slowly died.

I feel helpless there’s nothing I can do,
I can’t see myself getting through,
A big cloud has come along and blocked the future I could see,
So i’m left wondering if this is how it’ll always be.

I’ve lost reality and lost control of life, now I can’t maintain this grip,
Everytime I take a step forward I feel myself slip,
Slip back into this hole that i’ve come to know so well,
I need to look back and find where it was I fell.

Everything down here is so dark and so cold,
This isn’t the future that i’d been told,
I feel so confused and all alone,
And I can’t see how i’ve killed all that had grown.

I’ve pushed and pushed and pushed away,
Until noone has energy left to stay,
Am I really all to blame,
I think this is a mind game.

I can’t laugh and I can’t smile,
I constantly feel like i’m on trial,
What did I do that was so bad,
To take away the life I had.

I have no energy left to fight,
I’m too exhausted to see what’s right,
I give up as I have nothing left to give,
This is no way for someone to live.

It wasn’t my choice to be this way,
But it’s me that suffers everyday,
I’m the one being punished, the one hurting all the time,
I feel like i’m prisoner for some sort of crime.

Tell it I don’t want to play anymore,
Tell it I give up being stuck behind this locked door,
Let me out, set me free,
This isn’t how I want to be.

Broken I will stand alone.♥

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